The Nonsensical Ramblings of a Miserable Fart: Halloween

Yes, I am fully aware August isn't even over yet, No I do not care. I have been waiting for September for almost nine months! So I'm three days early, big deal.

I've noticed this tag popping up a lot over the past week on YouTube, Tumblr and Instagram, but the questions varied. So I decided to bunch them all together, delete any duplicates and create my own tag. Any excuse to talk about Halloween really.

Favourite thing about Halloween?
There isn't a single thing, it's the whole of Halloween. Anyone who knows me is aware of my borderline obsession. It's my favourite time of year and is really the only time I'm ever truly happy. I start my 'Halloween Prep' in September, using the month to plan all the DIY I want to do, all the movies I want to watch and all the things I want to buy. I pretty much celebrate Halloween throughout the whole of October, it's a 31 day affair for me.

But I would have to say one of my favourite things is the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episodes come on the TV. That's when you KNOW Halloween is soon. Another would be the quantity of horror movies that are shown on TV. I've pretty much seen them all, but I like that things get a little spooky.

Favourite Halloween song?
There are many songs that are my favourites, but if I had to choose - gun to my head - it would have to be Monster Mash. It's a classic. But I would also say This is Halloween, I Put a Spell on You, Red Right Hand, Don't Fear the Reaper and Bad Moon Rising. Also, I'm a sucker for soundtracks so pop on the Halloween, Lost Boys, Fright Night or Psycho soundtrack for a extra creepy feel. I've been listening to my 'horror' soundtracks whilst travelling to and from work recently.

Favourite Halloween candy?
Candy Corn, Tootsie Rolls, Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers. But mostly Candy Corn. It's a shame they are not easily accessible over here.

Favourite Halloween store?
We don't have dedicated Halloween stores in the UK, which sucks. We have to rely on supermarkets for supplies. I also order things online.

Favourite Halloween Movie?
I can't chose just one. I love too many. I would say Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown, Casper and Tower of Terror for 'family films' and Idle Hands, Halloween and Trick R Treat for 'Halloween horrors'.
I save Nightmare Before Christmas for the 1st of November every year because it's just after Halloween and it's a great way to kick start my Christmas prep. (I do the same thing for Christmas, November is prep and Christmas is a month long).

Favourite Halloween memory?
My mum helping me dress up as a bat and making my wings with a bin liner, then going to the local play-centre where we bobbed for apples. I must have been about five at the time.

Favourite Halloween decoration?
I will finally have the chance to decorate a 'Halloween Tree' this year which I'm pretty stoked about. Last year I didn't have the space, but I'm making damn sure I can do it this time around. But other than that it'd have to be spiderwebs. They're a classic.

Favourite Serial Killer?
Jack the Ripper. Standard. He is a British legend. Probably not something we should ever be proud of considering the bastard was never caught which shows how shit our 'police force' are, but I really love the story. I am currently working in a building that is round the corner from where Catherine Eddowes body was discovered.

Favourite thing about Halloween Shopping?
The house decor that pops up in shops. To me it's general decor and not seasonal, so I usually have to stock up. And even still, we don't get all the good stuff like America does. If I ever lived in the states I would go HAM on Michaels and Target.

Least favourite thing about Halloween?
I hate that the UK doesn't embrace Halloween like the US does.

Worst Halloween Memory?
I used to work nights back when I worked for HMV so there were a couple of years where I'd have to spend the night putting out stock. I was lucky thou as we always had horror movies on the TVs and although I still think of those times fondly, they are the worst Halloweens I've had.

What are you dressing up as this year?
The plan was to dress up as Dr Frank-N-Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I don't see that happening anymore. So, I probably won't dress up this year.

What was your best costume?
Last year I dressed up as a witch and I gotta say, I didn't look that bad.

Ever been to Salem, Massachusetts?
No, but I really REALLY want to go. Not just for the quintessential witchy feel, but also because of the colours. I adore 'Fall' and one of my biggest dreams in life is to experience Fall in New England. Preferably in Vermont, but I think Salem would win out just because of the historic aspect.

Ever had a paranormal experience?
I've had experiences, I wouldn't really call them paranormal, just not normal. I suffer from sleep paralysis and when I describe how it feels it can come across paranormally.... is that a word? It's a horrendous thing to experience and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Ever had your fortune told?
No, however I did have a weird woman 'read my aura' and apparently it's mostly black. Which is great because at least it matches my wardrobe.

Have you ever played with a Ouija Board?
When I was younger, yes. My sister and I tried to make one out of a drinking glass and a crudely scribbled alphabet. I'm sure we did it wrong thou because nothing happened. My sister faked a few bits but I wasn't daft.

Have you ever seen a dead body?
I had experiences in my life that did lead to seeing dead bodies but I think I must have blocked them from my mind as I don't recall the actual body itself, just the situation. However, I did go and see my nan before her funeral. That was a little odd. I was only 15 at the time.

Have you ever played Bloody Mary?
Of course. Who hasn't. nothing happened thou.

Do you believe in Ghosts?
I do, yes. Obviously discussing religion and the afterlife is a touchy subject so it's best not discussed. But I will say I believe in them because I have had experiences that have made me believe.

Do you like Haunted Houses?
Oddly, no. They're always annoyingly childish and lame. Obviously, because they are steered more towards kids. I see through all the shitty mechanics and junk. I would love to go into a proper haunted house thou, like the ones in the US.

Do you live near any ‘spooky’ places?
I used to live on a housing estate that was built on top of an old maternity hospital. That was pretty creepy. But now I work right next to the Crossrail location in Liverpool Street, which means I'm yards away from the plague burial sites. That's a little spooky, all those skeletons are being dug up as I type.

Do you still trick-or-treat?
No. Apparently I'm "too old" to do that anymore. Which I personally think is both stupid and bogus. However, the upside of being an adult is I can just buy my own Halloween junk food. I know what I like so I can get whatever I like rather than just taking some strangers grotty crap. I think I just established why I don't trick or treat anymore.

Do you see figures in your peripheral vision?
All the time, but nothing is ever there. I also sometimes hear someone call my name when I'm alone. Freaks me out so much.

Are you superstitious?
Not really, no. The whole cracks in the pavement, three drains, walking under ladders.... seems a bit daft to me.

Weirdest Coincidence?
It was just after my nan had passed away, my family and I were talking in the living room, laughing at all the funny memories we had. My mum started talking about her large fork set that my nan hated (it was just a wall ornament of an oversized, wooden fork set) when out of nowhere the damn thing fell to the floor. Creepy.

Is Halloween your favourite holiday?
Yup. Even more so than Christmas. Don't get me wrong, Christmas is AMAZING.... but Halloween has the darker, macabre edge that I prefer.

If You Were in a Horror movie, how far would you get?
People joke that if life were a horror movie, I'd be the killer.... but I think that's actually quite true. I suffer from severe rage and I am waiting for the day when something inside of me snaps and I go on a rampage. But I wouldn't target people I know, I'd just take out the randoms on the street who smell or walk too slow.
I'd either be the killer or I'd be the idiot one who thinks they can take the killer and squares up to them only to be taken down in the most disgusting way imaginable.

How do you get into the Halloween spirit?
I was born in the Halloween spirit...... I'm not kidding. My room is black & white and filled with spooky trinkets, skulls, horror movie posters. I always wear dark clothes and my choice viewings are usually horror and Halloween based.
But, during the Halloween period I try and decorate a little more, just for fun.

Name one unusual thing you're afraid of?
I wouldn't consider it a fear, more just a sever dislike, and that's feet. They are revolting. I have four 'fears' in my life. Clowns, spiders, feet and phlegm. I'm not scared of them, I'd just rather not be near them.

Jack-o-lanterns, yes or no?
Major hell yes. I love me some pumpkin carving. Last year I got my mum to help and she said it was the first time she has ever carved one in her life. It was a fun time.

Pumpkin spice latte or hot chocolate?
I do love me some PSL, but I would have to say hot chocolate. It's more versatile. With the PSL that is exactly what you are getting, a pumpkin spiced cup of coffee. With hot chocolate you can have a multitude of different flavours.

Halloween party or scary movie marathon?
Movie marathon. I'm not exactly a party fan, I'm too antisocial for that, so give me a movie marathon any day.

Vampires or Zombies?
Vampires. I'll be honest, I've never been overly keen on zombies. I mean, besides Frankenstein and his Bride, and Sir Rob. I loved the original Night of the Living Dead movie, but its not the type of genre I actively go for. Vampires on the other hand are a genre I hunt for. I've always loved vampires, they are sexy and alluring.

Werewolves of Ghosts?
Probably Ghosts. Much like Zombies, I'm not really into Werewolf films. I mean, American Werewolf in London is great, but it takes A LOT for a werewolf movie to be great. Most of them are dreadfully camp. For example, Cursed.

Dolls or Clowns?
Dolls. Always dolls. Fuck Clowns! I hate clowns.

Skeletons or Zombies?
Skeletons. They have more a comical appeal, especially if you pretend the ribcage is a xylophone.

Bats or Black Cats?
I would have to say cats, but only because they are more accessible. I would LOVE to have a pet bat, those things are super cute, but they're wild so it's harder to tame one.

Witch or Vampire?
Vampire... no, Witch... Vampire... Witch... Vampire... Wit- I dunno, oh god I want both. I want, I want girls on bread.
This is one I genuinely cannot answer. I have adored both equally for over twenty years.

This is the part where I'm supposed to 'tag' someone to do this questionnaire. Blah blah blah.

The Nonsensical Ramblings of a Miserable Fart

Friday, 30 October 2015

Halloween At Home

Friday, 28 August 2015

Halloween Tag