A few days ago my sister wrote a blog post that was extremely
personal, and might I add very brave. She was acknowledging her battles
with weight gain and loss, and the struggles that goes along with it. It was a brief but strong post.
If you were to ever meet my sister you'd never guess she had any issues. She is a
very confident and strong person. I think she is completely
beautiful, inside and out, but I'm biased.... But she is.
My sister
wasn't exactly dealt the best hand in life. She was born premature which
caused her to have both vision and hearing difficulties. She was born with a squint (however she has had surgery to fix it) but her sight is still weak and she has to
wear glasses, and she is 100% deaf in one ear and 20% in the other. To add to that
she also has dyslexia, although that was something that wasn't diagnosed until she was in university.
She was bullied her whole childhood, no matter what school she went to she always ended up being picked on. Because she struggled in school (due to her undiagnosed dyslexia) everyone saw her as stupid and constantly told her she was too dumb to make anything of herself. Even the teachers. They were cruel.
And because she was quite small and weak, she was always the one that got beaten up. She was an easy target. She was too small to defend herself and too sweet to say anything mean. Our older sister used to pick on her quite a bit too, because she hung out with the 'cool' kids and wanted to impress them. It was never me, only Trina.
I tried my best to protect her. Although I was her younger sister, I kinda turned into her bodyguard. I always had her back. I remember one time when we were younger (I think I was ten) we were on holiday at the time, this one kid, a stupid ugly thug, started teasing her. He was being a right shit.... so I hit him. Punched him right in his dumb face.
Now, she is an adult, and she has really made something of herself. She has a Masters in HR, and works as a senior HR business partner. So she totally proved all those idiots wrong.
She is married, to an awesome guy. He really is the ying to her yang. And he is like the brother I never wanted. They now own a house and are building a life together. It makes me so happy to know that she is happy.
I'm just writing this small blog to acknowledge how much I love my sister and how proud I am of her. She may be struggling with her weight right now but considering how far she has come.... its nothing more than a glitch. She will get where she wants to be. She always does.
In
one of my last posts (Facts About Women) I explained the awkwardness of an early period and how
they ruin literally everything nice we own, but that is really just the
tip of the iceberg.
And I have recently just come on (I know, over share, deal with it) and I want sympathy. So I'm going to go into a lot more detail with this. If you don't like the subject of periods, don't read on.
For
anyone with a uterus, you will know the bane of period pains. They are
horrendous.The problem is, because certain people suffer from certain
pains, they are not taking as seriously as they should. I cant tell you the amount of times I have been told "It can't be that bad" or "you're not the only girl who has cramps" - and I am here to tell you... IT IS THAT BAD!
When I was
younger, I had nothing, and I was so arrogant about it. But then when I
hit 24 my body betrayed me and now I get the most crippling pains ever.
It's horrible. Tumblr put it beautifully when they said Joffrey
Baratheon from Games of Thrones is like the human representation of what
period cramps are. I don't even watch that show but I know that
character was a right wanker.
The thing with periods is we never get a minute off. Between the pre-period cramps, the period itself, the aftermath and then when ovulation starts... its just a vicious cycle. The average cycle is between 21 and 35 days, if you are unlucky like me you'll have a 21 day cycle. I get only roughly 21 days between the end of one and the beginning of another. Which means I can sometimes have two periods a month..... and people wonder why I'm so angry all the time.
Something
that people don't actually realise is when you have a period the reason
your lower back hurts as much is because your hips are contracting and
are spreading apart fractionally to help release the blood and push the
dead lining of the uterus out. So technically every period is like a
mini labour. A tiny one.
However, back pain is not the only issue. This is all the shit women have to deal with every single month...
- Back Pain... this literally feels like some fat bastard is stamping on me. The pain spreads all the way up my back at times, even up between the shoulder blades.
- Shooting pain up the rectum... it feels like a knife is being shoved up there. Seriously. They are so powerful I have been knocked off a chair once or twice. I had to investigate these because they freaked me out so much, but apparently its just a muscle spasm. But as quickly as they hit, they're gone. It's a drive-by butt stabbing.
- Dragging pain down the thighs... it feels like a rake pulling on the inside. Sometimes its in the stomach, sometimes between the legs, but also down the freaking thighs too.
- Lower Stomach Ache... this pretty much feels like some fat twat has set up camp on your stomach, and will not move. Its a tight, tense ache that usually lasts the whole five days.
- Diarrhoea... because
of all the churning, spasming and cramping, it takes an effect on the
bowels too and usually causes issues. My friends call them 'period
poos'.
- Gas... we turn into walking fucking whoopee cushions. And because of the bowel issues, they smell. Bad.
- Spots... whenever I am due on I break out like a 15 year old. It's horrible.
- Mood Swings... I
cry all the time, at everything. I'll want cuddles but at the same
time I hate the world and want to smash everyones fucking face in. Like, I need to be looked after but I will fucking stab you if you breath too loud! I want you to cheer me up because I'm sad but then 'why are you fucking talking to me like that? I don't like your tone! You're being so fucking rude!!' ..... 'Becky, I only asked if you wanted more food'.
- General Discomfort... I can never seem to get comfortable. Ever. I fidget a lot when I'm on. On the sofa, in bed, on the tube, at work, whilst walking. I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin.
- Cravings... I get the urge to eat everything that's in the house, order an abundance of take out and just gorge until I die... that's then followed by the tears and tantrums because I'm a fat c*nt.
- Sore boobs... they
ache like fuck!! Seriously. I usually know when I'm due on because they
feel like Mike Tyson has clouted them a few hundred times. Like, right now, they are throbbing. I am convinced they are physically throbbing and others can see. Like some kind of cartoon.
- Vomiting... this one is the worst. No matter how much I want to eat, I can guarantee five minutes later I'll want to ralph.
- Migraines... this one is the worst because I work in a highly lit reception area. I suffer really badly with these and they cause such horrid blurred vision and blind spots.
- Exhaustion... Just imagine doing a double shift at work, then going for a long run, then staying up all night, then going for another loooooong run, then going back to work and not once getting to sit down.... that is how I always feel during my period.
- Leaking in the Bath... yes, that is as gross as it sounds. When the cramps get that bad many girls take to a hot bath to make themselves feel better. But unfortunately, hot water is known for breaking things up, so nine times out of ten a clot will escape and you will end up with a tiny little hijacker floating in your bath.
- Paranoia... periods have a distinct smell. It's not a bad smell or even a good smell. It's just a smell. You can't smell it, but we can. All throughout a period, girls fear that others will be able to smell it. It's horrible.
Not
to mention the constant blood and the fact you have to either shove a
cotton bullet up there or walk around with a mattress between your legs.
I can't stand tampons. They gross me out. My biggest fear is that I'd
sneeze and the fucker would just fly right out. So I have to use pads.
AND... when you think you're all done, you finally risk going pad free... but you weren't done. Not at all.
I genuinely feel like I'm being punished for not getting pregnant. And what makes it harder is I have tried all the monthly pills to help ease things, but they just made me ill. So I have no choice but to surf the crimson wave drug free and deal with the agony. Over the counter drugs don't work. Hot water bottles don't help. It sucks.
The
adverts are the worst. Those stupid, happy bitches, running around like
everything is fine. Fucking liars. I can guarantee you that not one of
those actresses were on during the making of that advert. Girls are
never happy during their periods. They just want to cry, eat, fuck,
punch and sleep. Make that an advert and maybe I'd believe.
You'd think after almost 19 years of having periods, I'd be used to all this by now.
Now excuse me for a sec my while I curl up and die.
